You have been gone for almost nine years. How is that possible?I remember the Father's Day card I got you on the last Father's day you had here on earth. It was sealed with a letter inside, still sitting on my entertainment center long after Father's Day! I found it after you had passed away. I thought we had mailed it. I am glad that we talked to you on that day.
It was hard to talk to you Dad! Hard to hear you struggle to hold on to the phone to talk to me. The stroke had left you with only one good hand and you were losing muscle tone in that. Sometimes it was very hard for you to talk. It broke my heart to hear the struggles that were your everyday life. You never complained though. You were always happy to hear from me or Tana. I'm sorry that I didn't call more often. I hated hearing Vivian yell at you to hold the phone or talk or whatever. I know now that it was part of the Alzheimers that she was suffering from that was undiagnosed at that time.
I know your last years were the kind no one should ever have to endure. Being trapped in that hospital bed not even able to turn on your own. Being at the mercy of an ailing wife and her daughter who was I'm sure stressed from helping her mother to care for you for so long. I know there were times when they were far from kind. So much came to light my last visit to see you. I felt like grabbing you up and carrying you all the way back home with me. You never would have survived the 900 mile trip.
Your only joy was Saturday nights when Uncle Cliff would call and talk to you. The two of you could be transported back to times when you were growing up. I know these were special conversations for you both. When Uncle Cliff fell and had a stroke, I know you were heartbroken. Then you and Vivian were put in the nursing home by Patsey. No phone, no way to communicate with the only family you had left. Then on Oct. 20th Uncle Cliff went home to be with the Lord. Daddy, I know this was just too much for you to bear. Your mind was clear, but you had to feel so alone that you just couldn't go on anymore. Forty five minutes after they told you about Uncle Cliff's death, you finally were freed from this pain and torture you had endured for the past seventeen years. When I recieved this news, the second in 24 hours, I was saddened beyond comprehenshion, but also happy for you! You were free to dance and run and do whatever it was that you wanted now.
Tana and Todd and Rick and I went down to Uncle Cliff's funeral, and then took my very first plane ride, down to get your remains. I did carry you home Daddy. Back to Oregon, back to where we started as a family. Back to be buried in Uncle Cliff's plot with him, right next to Grandma and Grandpa, and Aunt Iola. May You Rest in Peace. I love You!
posted by ...jus me at 11:07 AM
2 Comments:
What a touching post. Bless your daddy's heart, he is surely in a beautiful body now.
I can certainly feel the love you had/have for your dad in this post.
That was beautiful. Angie said all of what I was thinking...
God Bless
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