Candidate for the Darwin Award!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I stole this from another blog, I bout peed when I read it!


A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of $560.00).
He and a friend go duck hunting in mid-winter; and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go on a lake with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR.

They decide they want to make a natural looking water area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on.

Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger can produce. So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40 second-fuse. Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming toast, along with the Navigator), decide on the following course of action: they light the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG...???

Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING. Especially
things thrown by the owner. You guessed it: the dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse, just as it hits the ice.

The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming. One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog.

The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused then continues on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator.

The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dogs rear end, he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes off after his master.

Then BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two idiots standing there with "I can't believe this just happened" looks on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. He still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments. The dog is okay.


Monday, March 27, 2006

It's funny, but last night I had a dream and woke up with "kiwi" in mind and when I was checking my mail while eating breakfast, there it was...(Thank-you Mrs Byrd from Texas) My grandbabies approved too, and so did there ya go! Kiwi it is! Although when she is flying, "Freebird" is what comes to mind! And it has some sentemental value also! Maybe a middle name? Thanks all who contributed!

Name That Bird

Friday, March 24, 2006

Ok, let's play "Name That Bird"! She looks like she has had her head stuck in a bag of cheetos as that is the exact color on the top of her head. Her face is white and her underbelly goes from green to aqua. Her wings are green and her back and tailfeathers are bright blue. She is a pretty baby, but quite onery too! (read my last post) We are having trouble coming up with a name, so what better place to get suggestions? Help us out you guys! If we get some good suggestions, I will post the names so we can all vote for our favorite!

Our Newest Addition!

This is our sweet little lovebird. We got her/him (we don't know which) on Tuesday Evening! This sweet innocent little bird has led my husband and I on a merry chase! She is an escape artist! She has figured out how to open the door on her cage. She showers the dogs and cats with water from her water dish, which she tips over when they are close by!
Tonight was particularly amusing. Hubby and I were going to go out to dinner. Hubby got a payraise today! So as he was trying to get ready, I thought I would interact with the bird for a minute. She is still a big chicken around us. If you know anything about lovebirds, they are very loving birds, hence the name, lovebird! They cuddle and ride on your sholder, or on your head. But this baby is still too shy so I try to put my hand in the cage and pet her or pick her up and hold her in my hand for a minute or two....well, she really is an escape artist, and away she flew! We have not gotton her wings clipped yet, so when I say fly, I mean fly! On top of my kitchen cabinets, on top of the ceiling fan, on top of the curtain rod, into the tree, back to the cabinets, upstairs etc. Finally she heads up to my craft room. Yeah! This is where I was able to get her the other day!
We must have tried to catch her for close to an hour! We finally gave up put her open cage in the craft room so she could have some food or water, shut the door and went out to dinner. When we got back she was still in the mood to make fools out of us! It was really quite comical to watch! Two grown adults that can not catch one little bird! So finally my hubby holds the open cage up to where she is perched on the curtain rod...she looks at it and politely steps in and jumps on her perch! OHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Tommorrow she is getting her wings clipped! lol!

Where are my flip flops?

It is supposed to be Spring! I want to wear my flip flops! Capri's look dumb with big ole clunky shoes!
The weather can not make up it's mind! Rain, clouds, hail, sun, rain...I am grumpy! I don't want to work on my craft room, I don't want to walk on my treadmill...I just wanna go take a nap!
I have been whining all week cuz I did not have time to work on my craft room and now I do, and am I doing it? NOPE!
Don't want to! Where is chocolate when you need it? Guess I will just go put my lonely little flip flops back in the closet and crawl into bed with the puppy...

Sweet Dreams!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Did you ever have one of those dreams? NO, NOT ONE OF THOSE DREAMS!
You know, the kind where there is someone in your dream who is dear to you, that has passed away, and you know it in your dream, but you are sitting there talking and laughing with them again? You wake up happy, and kinda sad to know it was only a dream. Or sometimes you get to say the things in your dream that you didn't get to say when they were still here.
I don't know what got me thinking about these special times. It has been awhile since I have had one. I have had talks with my Dad, my Grampa, my first Mother-in-law, and a few others. Personally, I think these are special visits that we are allowed to have. Good Night and sweet dreams.

Wow, I'm Impressed!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Blogmad is way cool! I signed up and added this blog when I started it last Saturday and I have gotton 1086 hits in a weeks time! Go Blogmad! It is currently in Beta and invitation only, so if you need an invite just give me a holler in the comments and I will make sure you get one!

The Rest of the Story

Friday, March 17, 2006

We had our ups and downs over the next couple years as moms and daughters do. But it didn’t take long out on her own before I got the letter that I still have and still treasure! She apoligised for everything she had done as a teenager, and didn’t realize that I just loved her and was trying to protect her. (insert tears here) I still don’t remember much about the rest of the letter as I was always too blurry from the tears to read much of the rest!

My gramma was a wise woman and she used to say “You pay for your raisin’” Me, I used to tell my daughter that I couldn’t wait till she had a daughter. After all “You reap what you sow.” She just hated it when I said that!

Melanie had her first born--her daughter, when she was 19! She was the first of five! Four of which, are daughters…She must of done a lot more than I thought she did when she was a teenager--more to pay for! lol!

Isn’t it funny when you get together on holidays or family dinners and your grown kids start talking about things they did, and think you never knew about? Then it is very fun to enlighten them. “You knew about that? How Mom?” And then on the other side, there is the thrill they get when they tell me about the things that I didn’t know about! Yike, where was I? It’s sometimes a wonder we all survived!

I could not be more proud of my daughter! She is indeed, my best friend! She is married to a wonderful man, who any Mom would be proud to have as a son in law, or son, for that matter! He is one of my kids! She has a great family! Two teenage girls (lol), a nine year old boy, and then bringing up the rear with five year old twin girls!

It’s rare if Mel and I don’t talk to each other in some way every day! I am so glad God blessed me with a daughter. She is a special woman! My grandkids are very lucky to have her for their mother. If you want to hear more about her life and the hilarity that ensues with five kids, a husband, and a small zoo in one house, check out “plaid toaster” in my side bar.

Number Three

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Number three came many years later when I was a single mom of three, and I got up for work, went in to wake Mel up for school and found her bed empty and the bedroom window wide open! I can not begin to tell you the thoughts that go through your mind about then…I ran to the bathroom to see if she was there! Bathroom was empty! She was gone…she was 16 and missing! What happened, why had I not heard anything? Where was she? Was she ok?

As it turned out she had snuck out to a party and didn’t get back in time, before I was due to get up, and was scared to come home, so for 3 weeks I didn’t know where she was! I kept hearing from kids that had seen her, so I knew she was still alive at that particular moment. She even snuck INTO the house once when I was at work to heat up some chili rolls for lunch! I came home early cuz I could not get my mind on work and off the safety and welfare of my daughter. Her and her girlfriend booked, before I knew she was there. I walked in and the oven was on and I could smell the chili rolls.

The day before Thanksgiving a man called me and told me that her and her girlfriend were at his house with his daughter and that he thought I should know where she was on Thanksgiving! Thank God! Then I had to decide what to do! He said they were welcome there, but he didn’t want to get in trouble for having them there. I told him I would call him back! I really thought that she would just run again if I went and demanded that she come home, so after much thought and prayer, I called him back and told him that she could stay for the time being, but please keep me posted. That was the hardest Thanksgiving I ever spent! Knowing where she was and not being able to be with her!

I received another call from her friends father the day after Thanksgiving. he said he had heard talk of plans to take off again, and he thought I better come and get her! I told him I would be right there!

All the way over there, some 20 minutes away….I was thinking “What do I say, what do I do, do I force her to come home?” Again no instruction manual!

When I got there, and knocked on the door, no answer for awhile, then I hear murmering on the other side of the door! Finally the door opens a crack and there stands my 16 year old…half child/half woman, looking more like a little girl standing there in her jammies, wrapped up in a blanket, with the look of a scared animal! She says…”Hi Mom!” And we hugged. We stepped outside to talk…and then she went and got her stuff, and her girlfriend, who spent several weeks living at our house until her mom got out here to live (she had been staying with her Gramma). Needless to say, her girlfriend stayed in my daughter's bed, and Mel slept in my waterbed with me so I knew where she was!

Do you want to know how she turned out? Stay tuned for "The Rest of the Story"

My daughter--my first born!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

I knew she was going to be something special when it took me almost 3 days to bring her into this world! (And there have been a few times I would have liked to have taken her out again over the years- I’m thinkin’ those were somewhere around those wonderful teen-age years!)

You know when you have children, they don’t come with an instruction manual. And she was my first! Need I say more? Mel you have scared me on so many levels! Parents do weird things when they are scared!

It’s all peaches and cream when you have a beautiful little baby in your arms who’s whole world revolves around you. You are in control then! It’s later when their world starts to encompass other people and things that the scarey part begins!

My daughter was quite creative at an early age. When she was around six months old she created a work of art for me! She was down for a nap, and so far I had not heard a sound! Then I heard a little giggle and went in to get her up. I opened the door and said “How's Mommy's little girl doing?” and then I saw…she made me a finger painting! On the walls, on the crib, on the mattress, on herself! Unfortunately the only art medium she had to work with came from the inside of her diaper, which was now discarded on the floor. (well, hey it was empty now, right?)

Have you ever been scared, I mean really scared for the safety of your child? My little sweetheart has done this more times than I care to remember…But one that comes to mind is when she was two. I had taken her to the park to play. When it was time to go, she didn’t want to go, of course, but it had never been a problem before so coaxingly I said…”come on honey we can come back tomorrow, Mommy’s gotta get home now!” Well, at that time we were without benefit of a car, so we had to walk home. The park was actually on a very busy street right by the river. When I finally got my little “two year old” moving towards the direction of home, all of a sudden she threw back her head and pulled out of my hands, running towards the traffic! I pretty much had totackle her and sat down with my arms and legs wrapped around her! Her eyes were totally glassed over! Talk about a temper tantrum! It seemed like forever before she even knew who I was, let alone quit trying to get away! She was perfectly fine the rest of the way home! Didn’t think I would be that scared again!

I forgot I had a child though! I indeed was that scared again. In fact it was probably only about 6 months later! My husband and I were outside our new apartment with our little girl, then three! There was a field next to the apartments where all the kids liked to play. Of course that was not a problem, but you see our apartments bordered the freeway! There was a 6 foot cyclone fence between us and the freeway. But down at the end of the field someone had torn down part of the fence, which we didn’t know about until that day. It was almost a block from us! We looked up and Melanie was getting a little too far away for our liking, so we told her to come play over here. She thought it would be great fun to go the other way. After she wouldn’t listen to me, her Daddy tried his luck! Stubborn little thing took off running! She had a pretty good head start by this time so he really had to run to catch her, and you guessed it just before the end of the field and the open fence. I was frozen in place and it was like watching in slow motion!

That was gray hair number one and two, and things went along pretty well for quite awhile without any more from her...but trust me she made up for it with the third gray hair! Stay tuned for that one tomorrow!

Ahhhh...Sweet Sunday

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Our day starts out with hauling all the animals off our bed and out of the bedroom, downstairs and outside. Oh it's ok, I know it's cold out and you just left the warmth of all those cuddly blankets! Then we, (and the rest of the neighborhood) have to endure their morning chorus of hello's to the world! Yes they do get pretty vocal when they see their yard for the first time every day. After they have checked out every square inch of their domain, they are ready to re-assemble at the slider door.

Shelby, our oldest at 13, (half golden retriever/half collie) scratches at the sliding glass door. If this doesn't get the appropriate response then our little midget, Casey (longhair doxie) decides to talk/howl/bark to us! At this we are usually racing to the door before they wake up the whole neighborhood! If you ignore Casey she just gets louder! And then bringing up the rear is Lara, who is actually my daughter's dog! She is the sweetest dog! She is black lab and golden retriever mix, Her fur is long and looks like a golden's but she is jet black! But let me tell you this poor beautiful dog is about as dumb as they come! She has no brain matter! And whatever she did have once is now gone as she is epileptic. She has had awful seizures for the last 3 years or so. She usually had one about every two weeks like clockwork. She has not had one now for several months. We are praying she has grown out of them.

My hubby usually lets our motley crew into the house for their morning ritual...they all gather around him in the kitchen until he gets the bones. Then they move backward, stepping all over each other until they reach the dining room carpet and just as in sychronized swimming they all sit up...and wait! Once they have their special treat they dissapear to their own designated spots to gobble down the little bone in a great big hurry in hopes that "Daddy" is feeling generous enough to let them have another one!

Meanwhile, I have been upstairs feeding Harry the wonder cat! It's a wonder if you can pick him up! He is somewhere between 20 & 30 pounds! More like a small mountain lion, than a cat! The funny thing, he is not fat, at all! He is a very muscular, ball of fluff, with an attitude!

We have a small stool in the kitchen, that I have to use to reach things from the cupboards cuz I am kinda vertically challenged, well Harry thinks this is His Throne! When the dust has cleared from the dogs, Harry can be seen upon his throne patiently waiting for his treat, which of course he will sit up for also!

Then and only then can we go about getting our showers and getting dressed and ready for church! By the time we are both ready, Fuzz Butt is sprawled out on the bed waiting for us to leave so he can take his morning bath and nap! With the dogs safely escorted to the garage dog beds, we are able to collect our things and actually leave.

The next couple of hours is spent worshipping and fellowshipping with our friends and family. Our church really is a family, every bit as much as the one we left at home! We do have human kids and even grandkids too! (But that is another blog entry.) We are very blessed!

When we leave to go back home again, if hubby hasn't filled up on too many cookies, we sometimes go out to breakfast as we did this morning. Of course when we get home...the whole routine starts over again! The dogs come in from the garage and head outside to check out their kingdom again. The cat stretches and yawns and comes downstairs to see if he can pilfer another treat!

Hubby heads to change his clothes and to warm up the tv for his beloved Nascar race. I am already back "in my jammies" and usually on the computer checkin my mail! As I hear hubby snoring softly during pre race announcements, I make sure he is awake in time for the green flag, that's when I let the dogs in...Casey is in his lap approximately 3.2 seconds after the sliding glass door is cracked open! Shelby heads to the water dish and then downstairs to lay at daddy's feet. Lara will lay up against the stairs heading upstairs.

Then it is my favorite time of day! Just when the sun has had a chance to stream in on our bedroom, and the blankets are all tousled (no I don't make my bed in the morning, I know I am bad) I say to the pups..."mamma's goin' to bed!" The race is on to see who can beat me upstairs! Casey is usually laying in my spot with her head on my pillow and Shelby is standing close by waiting for me to get in bed so she can jump up and make herself comfy! Lara does not sleep on the bed, but will take up residence on the floor at the end of the bed where she can stretch out. And, in case you forgot, there is Harry! He'll jump up on his desk (not mine) and grab a quick bite of food, and then he'll very carefully jump over to the bed and walk very lightly between Shelby and my legs, and head up and across where Casey is snuggled under the blankets by my side, and find his spot right in front of my face! And "Sunday Afternoon Naptime" has officially begun!

And how was your Sunday?

I'm a Jammie-holic!

Friday, March 10, 2006

You may wonder where I got the name for this blog, very simply, I feel the most comfortable when I am cuddled up "in my jammies". Most of my "at home time" is spent barefoot and in my jammie pants, and beings I will be posting from home, this just made sense to me. Not that I want you to get all visual on me or anything, but just know that when you read a post here I will be as comfortable as I can be while I am sharing my somewhat crazy life.